FOF #893 – The Cornfields of Iowa
Standard Podcast [1:07:17m]:
Standard Podcast [1:07:17m]:
Poor Marc! He got a chocolate advent calendar from Jonas one of our sexy Norwegian listeners and it’s real a torture, since he can only eat one candy a day, or suffer the consequences from Santa Claus-
On today’s show Adam Guerino, our fabulously gay comedian friend talks about creating his “f-word” it list, (rhymes with bucket list) a list of sexual activists he’d like to do before he throws in the towel and gets involved with a boring boyfriend again. Don’t they look good in the new t-shirts? Order them now for the holidays.
He’s also sharing with us his sexy stories of going to with a group of his friends to the gay bath house, Steamworks and growing up gay in the cornfields of Iowa (click for the corn cam).
A mother’s undying love for her incarcerated son turns her into an undercover spy to seduce a juror into confessing details of jury misconduct. She changed her hair, her clothes and lost weight to get close to the juror who otherwise would have recognized her from trail. Well, she found some evidence of jury shenanigans and we wonder how soon until it’s turned into a made for tv movie.
The People’s Choice Podcast Awards Ceremony, this year held virtually on the internet. Congratulations to Manager Tools podcast for receiving the Podcast of the Year award. We accepted our award for Best GLBT podcast and thanked all the people who voted for us.
Listen as we give our recap on the World of Chocolate, Fausto’s interview with the BBC International -The Strand (iTunes link, interview starts at 34:30) and The Sensuous Black Woman, who was the queen Bee- when will we find our generation’s gay answer to this legendary blue comedian from the 1970s?
Plus questions from you, our listeners. Got a question? Join the conversation on the show, call: (773) 681-3833. Say your name, where you’re from and ask a question. Great questions make it on the show.
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Featured Music:
Mr Vegas Man – Hey Santa!: iTunes
The Lady Reed Album as “The Madam” – “The Sensuous Black Woman”: iTunes
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Standard Podcast:
Ask not for whom the bells jingle, they jingle for thee.
What is up with Christmas themed music and that annoying, repetitive jingle you hear in almost every song out there? You know what I’m talking about, that jing-a-ling that makes even my ting-a-ling mind go batty with holiday-themed anxiety.
On today’s show Marc and I talk about the historical significance of bells during the holiday season and why they seem to be everywhere during the winter months. What is it with those sleigh bells ring a ding ding-a-ling-ding? How did they come to be synonymous with the holidays?
Any song can be turned into a Christmas song just by adding some jingling bells into the beat! Grab a tambourine and try it on ANY song as long as it’s in 4/4 or 2/2. (Waltzes and polkas don’t work.)
One Christmas themed music CD that definitively rocks is Darlene Love’s “It’s Christmas, Of Course.” You might remember her as the sassy diva singing “Christmastime for the Jews” on Saturday Night Live or playing the role of Motor-mouth Maybellene in Hairspray the Musical.
We’re just smitten with these cute, adorable kitty cat wigs! Kittywigs.com sells wigs specially made for your cat (or small dog) to wear. Now you can now start dressing your tabby up as Cher, Tina or Madonna have have your very own purrfect cat drag shows, as it should be.
Be sure to check out their own flickr photo group of other pet owners dressing up their pets in fabulous wigs.
Lost your glove? A performance artist living in Pittsburgh has started her own website to help match lost gloves with their owners, in a good will effort to save people some bucks and keep their hands warm this winter season.
Listen as we talk about Sesame Street releasing their classic shows on DVD but choosing to label them and promote them “for adults only,” Jeff Scheidemantel the crystal meth-making High School Chemistry teacher and our past guest, Russian gay rights activist Nikolai Alexeyev getting arrested for voting, we presume.
[Originally posted on 12.05.07]
Check out our sponsor:
Steamworks Gym, Sauna and Baths.
Visit Steamwork’s website and register to get a discount on your next visit.
Featured Music:
Darlene Love – It’s Christmas, of Course:iTunes | Amazon | Site
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Standard Podcast [55:26m]:
Going to a gay rights protest this weekend? We’ve got you covered. On today’s show we’re sharing our tips on making the most of your local gay rights protest and how to enjoy a fabulous and passionate fight for gay rights!
This may be some people’s first time at a protest so please dress for the weather, in Chicago that means lots of comfy layers and maybe some rain gear.
Avoid eye contact with police. Do what they say and don’t eyeball them. No one likes to be eyeballed, especially cops, so don’t eyeball them. This protest isn’t about eyeballing, it’s about gay rights.
Keep moving and don’t stay in one place on the sidewalk or they might get you for impeding traffic. Plus, if you are on the run, you are harder to get.
Your protest outfit wouldn’t be complete without a protest sign. Follow these simple rules I modified from Uknighted Manganime for the ultimate sign:
1 Make your slogan rhyme because it may just become the chant that everyone rallies around.
2 Use lots of exclamation marks to show that you are serious about your protest!!!!! Bonus- they also fill in all that pesky negative space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 YOU SHOULD WRITE IN ALL IN CAPITALS TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE VERY SERIOUS AND YOU MUST ‘SHOUT’ TO SHOW THAT YOU MEAN BUSINESS!!!
Hilary Clinton is singing “mama he’s making eyes at me.” Yesterday, the Obama administration eyed the President Elect’s former rival for the position of Secretary of State. She may be a great fit but is this just a ruse to get her out of the country?
The trans man Thomas Beatie is knocked up again. Was this a planned pregnancy?
Scientists take you deep inside the brain of a bully. Did you know that bullies actually enjoy seeing people in pain and misery. Duh!
Paula Goodspeed, who was mocked at the American Idol tryouts, committed suicide outside of judge Paula Abdul’s home. Ms. Goodspeed was disappointed about how bloggers treated her after her appearance on American Idol. She apparently died from a drug overdose.
Remember folks, A healthy booty is a happy one!
If you ever wanted to see a live taping of the Feast of Fools, next week is your chance. Join LifeLube, Project CRYSP, Steamworks and Feast of Fools for “Tunnel of Love” a Live Podcast Forum on keeping your butt happy and healthy. It’s the last one of 2008. RSVP at lifelube.org
Plus, phone calls from our lovely listeners. Call us day or night at (773) 681-3833 for a good time.
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Featured Music:
Jann Klose – The Strangest Thing: iTunes | Amazon | Site
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Standard Podcast [1:04:11m]:
Tonight Fausto is NYC and Marc is in Chicago. Fausto attended the 70th birthday party of Terrence McNally the playwright. He rubbed shoulders with Broadway’s best actors. Listen as we find out who was there.
Solitaire Miles joins us and we’re so excited about the election tomorrow. We’re hoping for a big win for Barack Obama. Could today be the new day we’ve been waiting for? Let’s hope.
We had a lot of fun on Halloween. We tricked and treated and pranked a lot of people but Palin got pranked best by Canadian disc jockeys. They really exposed her for being a phony and showing just how stupid she really is by pretending to be the President of France.
Upside down dog blog answers the question, just how funny does a dog look when it’s upside down. Well, really funny, but could this site rival lolcats?
The TV show Heroes sucks and the network finally knows it as its ratings are in the toilet and its fired two of it’s writers.
The Gay Borat- otherwise known as Bruno crashes a gay marriage ban rally and seems to have a good time until the media outs him.
And a bowler dies after ‘perfect game.’ What a way to go.
We need your votes to win the People’s Choice Podcast Awards, so please visit the Podcast Awards and vote once a day from your computer email address.
This award is for everyone at Feast of Fools, including every guest on the show, the faithful listeners that have donated money, bought a t shirt, left a comment or participated in the community forums and our sponsors who understand the value our message. Thank you!
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CHICAGO, IL- Amanda Steinstein of the “Feast of Fools” podcast may be the worst-dressed woman in the world to be documented in what is the gayest episode ever of TLC’s reality TV show “What Not…
CHICAGO, IL- Amanda Steinstein of the “Feast of Fools” podcast may be the worst-dressed woman in the world to be documented in what is the gayest episode ever of TLC’s reality TV show “What Not To Wear” airing Friday October 17th at 9PM EST, 8PM CST.
Fausto Fernós and Marc Felion, hosts of the top-rated podcast “Feast of Fools,” nominated their friend, a regular guest of their talk show, for a much-needed makeover to help her recover from her fashion disasters on “What Not To Wear” (WNTW) . Fernós and Felion found an ally in WNTW hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly for their “War on Ugly” to combat Amanda’s wardrobe of mass destruction.
The producers of the long-running reality TV show say the episode featuring the fashion-flawed diva Amanda Steinstein is the “gayest episode ever,” as her friends Fausto and Marc ransack her closets and try on her sequins and tiaras as if they are in their own drag pageant. Producers of the show, which is in its seventh season, suggest that Amanda may in fact be the “the worst-dressed woman in the history of the show.”
TLC’s website describes the episode as “Single in Chicago, Amanda’s looking for the right man, but she likes to dress in drag and hide her feminine side. To her, everything is a costume, and style is not a concern.”
Fausto Fernós, host of “Feast of Fools,” insists that the poorly-dressed Amanda “practically lives in black leggings, and all her shirts and sweaters are oversized. In summer she wears these horrible Hawaiian shirts which have a nautical theme, as in Titanic meets the Poseidon Adventure.”
Marc Felion, co-host of “Feast of Fools” who nominated Amanda, claims he knew she needed an intervention for her fashion sense when he saw her in what he describes as “vintage 80s Ray Ban sunglasses, a Hawaiian shirt, black leggings and a black beret!” The first thing he said to her was, “I am embarrassed for you to be dressed like that.” Amanda replied “Yeah, I know. Whatever.”
But there is hope for Amanda, and the duo who nominated her say she is, for the most part, sticking with her “What Not To Wear” makeover. Amanda says of her new look, It takes a little more planning than I’m used to; like something may need to be steamed or ironed before I put it on. The hardest part is the shoes. I know they look better, but they hurt.”
The gang plan on watching the episode with friends and fans of both “Feast of Fools” and “What Not To Wear” at Hydrate nightclub in Chicago with drag queens impersonating the “before” and “after” “Amanda.” Join them for what should be an enlightening and fabulous evening watching what producers describe as “four or five years of therapy crammed into an hour long show.”
Standard Podcast:
Ah candy corn. This delicious but deadly candy confection connotes images of the fall in the United States, of childhood and our beloved neo-pagan holiday, Halloween.
Thanks to a growing acceptance of weird things in our culture, Halloween has grown in a big way to rival Christmas as American’s favorite holiday. For many queer folks, it’s the first time they don a drag outfit and explore what it’s like to dress up as a man or a woman. For me, it’s a chance to do really weird things in the name of Holiday Spirit. You should see me at a Christmas party. “Is that mistletoe above your camel-toe?”
One of the best things about living in Chicago is our local, small and low-key Halloween parade centered in the heart of the gay part of town, Lakeview. Also known as Boystown, the modest parade attracts people from all walks of life, but a good percentage of the audience is Korean tourists. Don’t ask me why, it just is.
Here’s a picture of me with Saan Huan, a costume-less, Korean Christian minister who somehow made his way to Boystown last year and was acting all weird around us, but somehow wouldn’t stop following us with his camera.
We invited him to hang with us for the rest of the night. It all turned bad when he thought we were putting drugs in his beer.
I love to dress up as a combo of any costume and a vampire, because it’s sexy and weird all at the same time and because it’s an excuse to bite someone on the neck! Last year I was a knight in shining armor + vampire. This year I think I’ll get myself a cowboy gear and be a cowboy vampire.
Amanda’s Halloweens turn out to be like Charlie Brown’s Christmases. One costume idea Amanda had is to take a cardboard box and turn it into a Rubix cube. Another year she had nothing to wear and so she took her purple curtains and turned it into an awkward puple ghost costume that unintentionally offended a lot of people. Think the Teletubbies meets the Klu Klux Klan.
Here’s a bad costume idea: go as a “blind” date (a date wearing dark sunglasses). Be prepared for everyone to ask you if you are Ray Charles or Hellen Keller.
Marc suggests wearing underwear, wrapping yourself up in salami and saran wrap and going as leftovers. I think he just wants to wear a costume he can eat.
Another cheap, messy and dramatic costume idea is going as the classic Sissy Spacek character Carrie. Just put on a nightgown, a blond wig and a tiara, then drop a bucket of fake blood on yourself at an inappropriate time.
But the best costume you can wear 365 days a year is as a Feast of Fools fan! Get your black t-shirt here now. Click here to see a fabulous photo gallery of people wearing the shirts. Send your photos in now!
Listen as Amanda Steinstein joins Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós to talk about Halloween news, cake-sitting, offending witches, sex parties in Canada. Are you invited?
[Originally posted on 10.18.07]
Putting the JACK in jack-o-lantern, Feast of Fools!
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Baby Teeth – The Baby Teeth Album: iTunes | Amazon
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Standard Podcast:
Have you ever played this game with your friends? Think of the name of your first pet you had when you were a kid and the street you lived on, combine those two and you get your Adult Movie Star Name. Mine would be “Jimmy Barbe”
Still this formula leaves a lot to be desired. How about we come up with a new one! Here is a helpful list of combinations you can make to come up with your Adult Movie Star, stage name, faerie name or drag name in a cinch.
• Favorite Snack + Conservative Politician = Snickers Nixon
• Innocent Girls’ Name + Movie Stars’ last name = Victoria Lamarr
• 50’s TV Sitcom Character + Greek/Roman God = Tony Zeus
• Civil Rights Activist + Jungle Cat = Cindy Cheetah
• Car Model + Type of Wood = Mercedes Mahogany
• Suburb in your city + Artificial Food Ingredient = Waukeegan Olestra
Okay, so they are not all winners. Still, this way you can be pretty clever when you’re creating an online profile and don’t want people to know what your real name is. Wouldn’t it be fun to be chatting with Skittles Liddy on the forums?
Keep in mind alliteration (Fausto Fernós, Vernonica Vera or Jessie Jackson) are great names because you get the bonus of having some cool initials like F.F.
Rhymes, or name combinations or puns are great too.
Share with us your favorite formulas for names and your results on the comments below.
Join Amanda Steinstein, Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós as we give honest advice to our hetero female fans who are dying to ignite their love life but find themselves spending a LOT of time with gay men.
When do you let go of a bad situation? How do you train a dog to learn that “NO” really means NO!
The podcast that is like a warm bath full of bubbles- the Feast of Fools.
[Originally posted 07.12.07]
Featured Music:
Dresden Dolls – The Dresden Dolls: iTunes | Amazon | Site
Jacob Diefenbach – Ripping Stories For Boys: iTunes | | CD Baby | Site
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Standard Podcast:

One of the most loveable podcasters, Amanda Steinstein joins us today to talk about Domino’s Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan desire to build a ultraconservative town free of gays, pornography, drugs, and propbably non-catholics called Ave Maria.
If you thought your neighborhood was creepy enough, just imagine what this ultraconservative hell-hole will be like. And they WILL be willing to drink the Kool-Aid.
Listen to todays show as Amanda tries out the new microphone we got to accurately capture her deliciously high-pitched voice. Lots of talk about caviar, polygamy, golddiggers, gay-hatin’ fat people, pizza zombies, and faking your own death to avoid paying $500 in parking tickets.
[Originally posted on March 2, 2006.]
A little plastic bubble of joy- the Feast of Fools.
Featured Music:
Andy Moore – Dig Right In: iTunes | Amazon
Baby Teeth – The Baby Teeth Album: iTunes | Amazon
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Standard Podcast [47:49m]:
Paczki! Mmm… you may not be able to pronounce it, but you definitively will want to stick some of these big, delicious Polish treats in your mouth.
Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about the delicious Polish donut that is only offered before Lent as a way to get rid of all the junk food ingredients in the house. This is a religious thing.
And what a wonderful way to be religious: by stuffing your face full of cheese-filled pastry. Yum. If all religious dogma went down this easy, I’d be on my knees all the time.
Did you vote today? Before you go out to celebrate Mardi Gras, don’t forget to vote in the primaries if they are happening in your state. Also known as Super Tuesday, it’s the day where most of the states in the Union decide who the candidate is going to be in the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election.
Be sure to send us your cheeky pictures of you voting, and we will email you some special FOF beads. Try not to get arrested this time.
Join our gal-pal Tracy Tyler, Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós as we talk about Mississippi lawmakers proposing a ban in restaurants to serve obese customers and the up-and-coming National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.
If your congregation struggles with homophobia, be sure to get your hands on AFC’s set of tools and resources created specifically to help Black churches spark discussions about HIV/AIDS in their communities and peeps.
As Will Smith says: “We All Have AIDS” and as Adrianne Curry says: “We Are All African American.” Represent!
On today’s show we’re also chatting with super sexy “bi-loving” actor Marcus Patrick about his appearance in Rosario Dawson’s “Descent” and his bold character’s participation in a brutal story of revenge.
Marcus talks about some of his past jobs that include posing nude for Playgirl, acting in American Soap Operas and being in a Boy band that was put together by Simon Cowell.
The podcast that fills your plate with delicious, chewy goodness- Feast of Fools.
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Featured DVD:
Descent (2007)
Starring: Rosario Dawson, Chad Faust, Marcus Patrick
Director: Talia Lugacy Rating
Get it on Amazon
Featured Music:
Ari Gold – Transport Systems: iTunes | Amazon | Site
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Standard Podcast [57:59m]:
Back in the 2004 during the Superbowl’s halftime show, pop musician Janet Jackson’s awkward publicity stunt or “wardrobe malfunction” fueled a U.S. government crack down on broadcasting media, enticing talk shows and audiences to seek alternatives to the existing traditional channels.
Out of these fires of censorship emerged the Feast of Fools podcast. Before the word “podcasting” was declared as 2005’s Word of the Year by the Oxford University Dictionary, this show was just and an audio enclosure attached to a blog. Nobody, including the Superbowl has ever been the same since.
But, yawn! What a borrrring Superbowl! Not the game itself which was OK, but everything else, the shows and the commercials which is the really important stuff. This year’s event was the blandest in recent years and went without a hitch or a awkward moment to draw it’s hypnotized audiences back into reality. Where was this year’s equivalent to last year’s gay kiss?
It was weird to see celebrities being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest on their own “red carpet” as a way of trying to glamorize the event. Reuters reported that that the actual red carpet they talked to celebrities on lead nowhere and that was a half mile from the stadium in a beer-soaked parking lot. What a joke! Until the NFL gets superstud Tom Brady to wear a ball gown and parade down that red carpet, I’m not buying it. Like yellow brick roads, red carpets should always lead somewhere.
Why doesn’t the NFL put out their own “Gods of the Stadium” calendar?
We could use an American version of the famous French calendar that features hot soccer studs in the buff. If we can handle Brittany’s beaver shots, we can handle hot famous muscular athletes being photographed naked in sexually ambiguous poses.
Tom Petty’s and Alicia Keyes’ musical performances were great. But Paula Abdul’s awkward song montage in the Superbowl Pre-Show was really bad. Her lip-syncing rivaled wasted queens at your local drag review and her dance moves were awful. One of her crazy moves looked like she was trying to “air out her cooter.”
I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence or just an attempt to explain away her slurry behavior, but today it was also revealed that Paula was in a plane mishap in 1993 that caused her to have several back surgeries and drop out of pop music for half a decade.
Did you think Paula’s music career took “two steps forward, or two steps back” with this performance?
Rock stars should retire the phrase “Let me hear you say yeah!” I could have sworn that Alicia Keyes, Paula Abdul and Tom Petty all said it at the Superbowl last night. Did the cue card guy run out of card-stock and just recycle his signs?
Then again, how else can you get a crowd to all say “Yeah!” on cue? Come on everybody say yeah. She loves you yeah, yeah yeah. Twist and shout, yeah yeah yeah. I said, yeah, mony mony… Is yeah here to stay?
Join us as we present the quirkier and more unusual side of Superbowl XLII as Amanda Steinstein, Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós take calls from you our listeners about the commercials, pre-show and halftime show of the Superbowl, also known as the Oscars for straight people.
Go Daddy wants to show you it’s beaver. Do not attempt to jump-start your man-titties. Will the sound of a dog slurping make you buy stuff, like a Feast of Fools t-shirt?
The podcast that scores a touchdown every time with sexy results- Feast of Fools.
Featured Music:
Jann Klose – The Strangest Thing: iTunes | Amazon | Site
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